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Be Different And Be Glad!

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Bruce Lee not afraid to be different

Bruce Lee changed the martial arts world by being different

 

Why Kids Should Be Different

Kids, since the dawn of time, or at least the advent of fashion, or maybe toys, have felt a need to conform or fit in. They want to dress alike, own the same toys, just be like the rest. This continues on through high school as they struggle to be “popular” or “able to hang with the in crowd”. As adults, they find work in a big corporation or government where they are encouraged strongly to “go with the flow” and “not make waves”. I say nonsense to this, be different and be glad!

Take a look at the most successful entrepreneurs around, and chances are they are a bit eccentric, which is a euphemism for “a little weird”. They usually do not care what society thinks of them. One of the defining traits of entrepreneurship is the ability to spot an opportunity and imagine something where others haven’t. They think outside the box and create a niche. This niche, an area of specialty or unique skill, is not perceived as an easily replaceable product or service. They are therefore better able to protect that niche from competitors, since they have developed the unique skill that sets them apart. The successful truly march to the beat of a different drummer. They do not seek outside validation. They seek it from within. They imagine a far different world than most and have the ability to make that world happen. They succeed by not being afraid to be different.

Bruce Lee Was Not Afraid To Be Different

Bruce Lee was extremely successful as a martial artist because he challenged the current dogma of the day. He embraced the martial arts of every style and included boxing, wrestling, and fencing and who knows what else in his arsenal of techniques. He “absorbed what was useful, and discarded the rest”. Of course, for him the truth in combat rested in what worked for him and his body style and physical attributes, and he disdained the idea of a “combat system” because of this. His approach of “using no way as way”, and his training methods, which seemed radical at the time, fundamentally changed the martial arts world as a result.

Left handers are very different, representing only about eleven percent of the population. They are discriminated against at every turn, growing up surrounded by right-handed tools, instruments, and appliances. They are continually trying to adapt to a right-handers world. I know this because I am a left-handed person. But guess what? They tend to be over-represented in the elite level of martial arts, for the reasons I stated in an earlier article. First, since they have to adapt, they become ambidextrous at a greater rate than right-handers, becoming more powerful and coordinated on their weak side. Second, right-handers have to fight someone with a style they are not used to fighting.

Some of the greatest artists in history have been lefties, including Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Rembrandt. Left-handers are no more successful than right-handers overall, but they are more successful in different ways. For instance, they tend to be more creative, while right-handers are more logical and analytical.

William Churchill was considered eccentric in his time. Even the Germans knew about it, as stated in Goebells 1941 diary: “A book on Winston Churchill reports that he drinks too much and wears silk underwear. He dictates messages in the bath or in his underpants, a startling image the Fuehrer (Hitler) finds hugely amusing”. His eccentricity did not stop him from becoming a master orator and one of the great leaders of the world. And you can bet it did not bother him to be different.

So I say, be different and be glad you are unique. Embrace it and let it work to your advantage.

“The amount of eccentricity in a society has generally been proportional to the amount of genius, mental vigor, and moral courage it contained. That so few now dare to be eccentric marks the chief danger of the time”.

John Stuart Mill

Do you dare to be different?

Can Karate Classes Help Make Your Child More Independent?

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Children becoming more independent in karate classes

Karate classes can help children become more independent in many ways.

If I hear one more person on Facebook say “I’m bored”, I am going to go off the rails! We think that the phone always has to ring, that people always have to be texting us, or that we must have someone to hang out with. What is wrong with hanging out with yourself? You must learn to like yourself and your own company. One of the things the martial arts have taught me is to be strong on my own.

Standing strong…alone. How can we encourage our children to stand on their own two feet? Karate classes can help in many ways. Let’s look at them.

Step Aside and Let Another Adult Take Over

As much as it is a temptation to always be with your young child, they need to learn to trust other adults in a supervised setting. Try leaving your child for small periods of time during karate class. By doing so, they will learn that they are still safe without your presence. Before long, they will be confident enough to do an entire class without you being present if need be.

Smaller Goals Over Time Build Their Confidence

The “little goals” or gradings at the end of each term add up to big ones over a period of years. As kids set the goal to get to that next rank they will learn how their attitude, attendance, and self discipline will achieve it. Each achievement enhances the child’s self-confidence and they start learning that “they did this on their own”. The martial arts are individual, not team sports. The kids learn to count on themselves, and they never, ever ride the bench or sit out just because they “aren’t as good as the rest of the team”.

Children Need to Fail Every So Often

Rising from disappointment is one of life’s most important lessons to learn. By experiencing failure and overcoming it, the child will grow into a strong, independent adult. I have seen it time after time over the last twenty years of teaching. Some of the strongest efforts on our advanced gradings were from students who failed to achieve their goals in prior tests. They decided for themselves that they really wanted to pass and gave it their all.

Instructor for a Day

We sometimes let the kids take each other through warm-up activities or even come up to the front of the class to demonstrate a technique. We also consistently ask them questions. Encouraging them to talk or demonstrate builds up their confidence and is important for their feeling of independence. It also keeps the karate class engaged.

We Praise Our Karate Kids

Children are highly motivated by recognition and approval. Praising them for a job well done will increase their self-esteem and self-reliance. We are careful, however, to not over do it, as excessive praise teaches children to seek outside approval, thus making them more vulnerable to peer pressure. We look to find something each child does well, and praise them publicly for it.

Their Friends Dropped Out

Many kids joined karate classes with their friends. The friends dropped out for one reason or another, but they are still there, training every week. They have learned one of life’s most important lessons. You are not dependent on others for fun, or success in life. You can do it on your own.

Being Able To Stand Up for Themselves

As our students become more confident in themselves they are less likely to be targeted by bullies. Many parents have commented that since their child has been in martial arts, the bullying has stopped, even though not one fight had taken place. This ability to stand up for themselves makes children less susceptible to peer pressure and builds their independence.

Let Your Children Make Financial Transactions and Interact With Adults

The parents of my students taught me this one. They send their child up to the front desk with their money, the child says his or her name to check in, and hands me the money. They even thank me. I should be thanking them! This is a very smart thing to encourage a child to do, as it builds their confidence and ability to function in the world independently. Brilliant!

Independence is the greatest gift you can pass on to your child; it will greatly contribute to their success later in life. Karate classes can greatly assist in this effort. Have karate classes helped you to become more independent?

How Martial Arts Builds Self-Discipline in Children

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A child learning self-discipline through martial arts

Kids will strive to do their best if they enjoy the activity and will learn self-discipline in the process. This will follow them throughout their lives.

Discipline in the martial arts does not mean making a child do knuckle push-ups for misbehaving in class. I am not a supporter of using exercise for punishment anyway. No, what we are talking about here is self-discipline. Discipline is all about doing what you must do even when you don’t want to do it.

self-dis·ci·pline (slfds-pln)
n.
Training and control of oneself and one’s conduct, usually for personal improvement.

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged

self-discipline
n
the act of disciplining or power to discipline one’s own feelings, desires, etc., esp with the intention of improving oneself.
self-disciplined adj

Webster’s College Dictionary

Control of Self

How does a child learn to control his temper and not lash out? A good role model that he or she looks up to can be a big help. If the sensei says it’s not right to strike another child in anger, most kids take it on. I have even had many parents complain that their child did not hit back when they were attacked because “the sensei said it is not right to use karate at school”. Good or bad, this is self-control in its purest form.

Activity Must be Fun!

How do you get your child to get off the video games and get ready for karate class? Simple, the child has to like the activity. If you can make the classes fun and challenging at the same time, the child will be more likely to continue with it.

Goals Should be Broken Into Little Chunks

How do you keep a child motivated? You have to break the goals into little chunks, because for a kid, six months is forever! Break the goals down into smaller chunks and reward them for their efforts more often. This is not bribery, this is just how kids operate.

The Sensei Knows if You Have Been Practising

How do you get kids to practice at home? This is a hard one, but if the sensei suggests strongly that the child practice outside of class, and says he or she will “check your work next week”, a good many will.

Games Build Concentration and Peer Pressure Can Make Them Work Harder

How can you get a bored child to concentrate? Play a game that requires the child to concentrate in order to win. Every child wants to win at games. Peer pressure can help as every child wants to fit in. “Yes I focus on that kata one more time because the rest of the class is doing it”. They start to learn how to concentrate on their own, enough to master the techniques that are required of them.

Recognition is the Key to Building Mastery

How do you get children to do their best? Use the carrot, not the stick! We always make it a point to have a child demonstrate for the class a technique in which he or she is very good. It makes all the children in the class try harder. Kids are like any other human, we all crave recognition. As the child begins to achieve a sense of mastery, and this is recognised publicly, they start feeling a lot better about themselves and this is where they begin to really enjoy martial arts.

Over a period of years students learn that if they persist, work hard, and do not give up, worthy goals are achieved. It is a lesson that will serve them well throughout their lives. How has the martial arts helped your child’s self-discipline?

Should Parents Be Allowed to Observe Kids Martial Arts Classes?

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Parents watching a kids martial arts class

A child performs karate moves under the watchful eye of his parents.

In the “old school” it was considered poor practise to allow parents to observe their children doing their martial arts classes. Were they hiding something, or was there a reason for this policy? A lot has changed, with parents now encouraged to watch and sometimes take part in the running of classes. What are the pros and cons of parents being allowed to watch the classes?

Arguments in Favour of Allowing Parents to watch Kids Martial Arts Classes

First, let’s explore the arguments in favour of allowing parents to watch the classes. There are many.

Right to Know What Goes On

It is the parent’s right to see what goes on in the classes. The parents are paying for them, and they need to see if they are getting value for money. They need to see if their child is getting anything out of the classes. There is a lot of competition for their dollar in the current martial arts world, and there is a good chance another school will be a better choice if they have enrolled their child in a poor school.

Better for the Kids

It is better for the kids if they are watching. Parents will remember important announcements or pick up newsletters. Kids will forget them.

Parents can give the kids feedback if the child does not seem to be getting something, as they can often see things the child may not see themselves. In addition, parents can give the instructor feedback if the child is having trouble doing something.

Encourages the Children to Do Better

They will do their best to impress you. They’ll take a greater interest in class if mom and dad is watching, and especially if they are encouraging the child. They will take more pride in their achievements, and will be more likely to practise outside of class. Parents might even be called upon to help with a class by holding kick bags or focus mitts, or managing a game. Kids love it when their parents get involved. It shows support for the school and the child.

It Protects the Child

There have been numerous cases of child abuse over the years involving karate instructors. Would this have happened if the parents had been more involved in the classes and was allowed to observe them at all times? I suspect the answer would be “no”.

There may be other reasons, of which I am not aware. This is your chance to chime in reader, hint, hint…

Arguments Against Allowing Parents to watch Kids Martial Arts Classes

Now, the arguments in favour of not allowing the parent to watch their children in martial arts classes. There are also many here.

Child Feels Self-conscious

I’ve had many parents remove themselves from the classes, complaining the children become too self-conscious if they are watching them in the classes. I suspect this arises as the child tries too hard to meet their parent’s approval.

Child Is Distracted

In some cases the child constantly checks to see if mom or dad is watching. This may also stem from trying to meet the parent’s approval.

Loud Parents Distract Class

Parents create a disturbance by loud chatting or phone conversations. This happens a lot, and is one reason many are asked to leave the hall. In other cases, siblings are not managed properly and create a disturbance, interrupting the class. Please see another post about this subject.

Parents loudly giving instruction to their children. In extreme cases I have seen parents, usually fathers, loudly correcting their children, sometimes in a foreign language. Not only is this disruptive to the class (in any language), it makes the child feel self-conscious and singled out.

Parents Comparing their Kids to Others

If a parent with a big ego sees other children progressing faster than their own they will have the tendency to accuse the sensei of favoritism, poor teaching, or other forms of incompetence. At that point, they feel they can withdraw their child from the program without any sense of guilt. In less extreme cases, the child will be made to feel they can never measure up, but will feel like quitting themselves.

There are many pros and cons on this issue. Perhaps the solution is to allow the parents to watch from an enclosed area with windows so they can see the classes, but not be a distraction. This would not always be practical, however. In any case, it is important for parents to support their children in their martial arts journey. I have written a separate blog post about this, which you might find interesting.

What are YOUR thoughts on this issue?

How the Martial Arts Can Improve a Child’s Balance

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Kids improving their balance through martial arts

Martial arts moves like these will improve your child’s balance.

Kicking Takes Balance

Try doing a kick straight out in front of you, executing another one out to the side, and then yet another one behind you, at imaginary attackers from all sides, AND without touching your kicking foot to the floor at any time. Sound pretty hard? Well, our little children in the five to seven age groups are able to do this by the end of the first or second term of martial arts!

Standing on one leg while snapping kicks out in all directions takes incredible balance, learned through training in the martial arts. Some of the children have difficulty with it, but with a little praise and encouragement, they all finally get it. As the child advances they will learn spinning, turning, and jumping kicks, which are all amazing balance builders.

The Stances are the Foundation of Balance

The stances they learn teach them to keep a low centre of gravity and wider base, making it very difficult for a bully to knock them over. Focusing the eyes on a non-moving object out in front of them is something we teach them at the earliest stages of their training. Standing side-on from their opponents makes it harder for someone to push them down and increases their mobility while protecting their centreline, where most serious injuries will occur.

Drills and Exercises Build Balance

Some of the warm-up exercises we do involve the children standing on one leg while pulling their legs out to the side, as if they were doing a kick. Or maybe the eagle, dancer, or tree pose from yoga. The kids love these exercises as they are a great challenge and lots of laughs are heard throughout the training hall. Sometimes for additional challenge, we have them close their eyes.

Later on, when the children are ready to spar, or pretend fight, balance will play a key role in their ability to dodge their opponent’s attacks, while at the same time launching their own. The shuffling games and drills develop footwork, quickness, and balance as the the kids learn to move and evade attacks.

Improving a child’s balance from martial arts training will pay big dividends in their lives. They will find other sports easier to master, and will be less likely to have accidents. This will be especially true when they one day become senior citizens.

Help Your Child Succeed in Martial Arts or Any Sport

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Supporting their children in a martial arts class

Being there to support your children is half the battle to their achieving success in martial arts.

What can parents do to ensure their children succeed in martial arts or other sports? Mostly, it is about just being there for them and supporting them.

I wrote this guest post a few years back. It received many responses, but sadly the host site no longer exists. I decided to re-write it on my own blog. I wrote this article from a unique perspective—that of the child’s. Our kids karate classes in Sydney are popular because the sensei get right “down in the dirt” with the children and actively participate, not just bark out orders. This gives us a different viewpoint. From my many years experience in working with kids, I offer this advice that will help the parent support their child in the martial arts or any other sport.

At Karate Class

“Be there whenever you can to watch me. It means so much to me and I will try extra hard when you are there”.

“Be there to support me, especially on grading day. Every other parent is cheering for their child, but I am sad because there is no one here to cheer for me”.

“Observe me quietly during my karate class with a smile on your face and always give me positive feedback when we get home, this shows me that you care.”.

“It makes me happy that you volunteer when the sensei asks for parent helpers, I love seeing you take part in my class”.

“Please pick me up from practice on time. All of the other kids have gotten their hugs and are gone and I am still here waiting for you. I feel abandoned and will cry”.

“When you blabber loudly on your mobile phone and make the Sensei ask you to take it outside, it really embarrasses me”.

“Help me with my belt if it falls off, the sensei is very busy and does not have the time”.

“You told the sensei I am not any good at Karate. I thought he was proud of me. That really hurts”.

“You have your face buried in the newspaper and have not watched one of my kicks today”.

At Home

“Don’t push us too hard. Practising five days a week is a bit much for our little bodies and it will soon become a job”.

“Ask us what lessons we learned in karate today. It shows you care”.

“Practice with me at home or at least watch me practice”.

“Please sew up my karate pants so I don’t trip and fall down in front of the whole class”.

“Please don’t compare me to other children. I am not as big, strong, and coordinated as Grant/Julie. It is not my fault”.

“You sometimes get angry when I don’t win the game or match. The sensei says that what counts most is not winning, but having fun and doing your best”.

“Do tell me you are proud of my efforts in karate. I live for it”.

“Let us be kids and have a bit of fun. We only get to do it once”.

How do you support your children in the martial arts or other sports? Your comments are appreciated.

How Martial Arts Builds Assertiveness in Children

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Kids being assertive in a martial arts class

Kids are encouraged to raise their hands and be assertive in our martial arts classes. There are no wrong answers.

How Martial Arts Builds Assertiveness in Children

Teaching a child to be assertive will pay off as they get older. Confident and assertive children are less likely to bend to the will of their peers. They will be more apt to walk away from a bad situation or to keep up good grades even when others say it is not the cool thing to do.

Providing early leadership opportunities for children is essential for building their assertiveness and confidence. Research from Girl Scouts of America says confidence in speaking up and leading others dwindles by the fifth grade. Kids gain that confidence by entering into activities, clubs, teambuilding, etc. and the earlier the better. The martial arts is a perfect place to to this. Here’s why.

Praise Children for Being Assertive

We praise children for raising their hands in our children’s martial arts classes. We tell them there is no wrong answer and that all questions or comments are good. We never belittle them for any answer they come up with. This gets them to put their hand up more often. Many parents are telling us their children are now putting their hands up in school, which usually means better class participation and grades.

A Strong Role Model

Children copy their role models. Our instructors encourage the children to stand up for their beliefs and views, even if it means going against the crowd. Many of the games we play test individual skills, which build a sense of independence. We also encourage them to speak up when they see injustice. Our instructors also encourage the children to come forth if they are not getting enough attention in class. Children will follow the example of a strong instructor.

Discourage Domineering Behaviour

If we see a shy withdrawn child being pushed around by a more assertive child in class we will separate them, giving the shy child the chance to shine on their own. We will go out of our way to find a way to give them a chance to be assertive and then praise them. We also tell them it is okay to complain if another child cuts in front of them in line. We also give the line-jumpers warning that if they are caught doing it, they will have to watch the game from the side that day.

Provide Leadership

We encourage children to come forth and volunteer to be leaders. As early as purple belt, we will allow children to help with the beginner’s classes. This gets them started helping organise the class and works on their public speaking skills, greatly increasing their assertiveness.

Appearing Confident and Assertive

We teach our students to look people in the eye and use a more firm, powerful voice. We work on our Kiai every day to develop our voices. We encourage them to stay cool and not cry or pout, as this does not show confidence.

We Let the Kids be the Instructor

Sometimes we’ll let the kids take turns running the stretches before class. Each kid picks a stretch, tells the class its name, then demonstrates it. They love to participate in it. Sometimes they come up with funny stretches and everyone has a laugh! It really builds their confidence in speaking up.

Manners are the Key

Sometimes a child will walk up to me and say “I need to get tested because I missed the grading”. I tell them to try again but this time ask in a respectful way. They will often say “Can you please test me Sensei because I missed the grading? This teaches them that they will get a much better result if they make their requests in a firm, but respectful way.

Have Faith in Yourself

We teach our students to have faith in your their own abilities, knowledge and strength. To know that they are valuable and deserve to have their needs met. We all have a right to assert ourselves no matter what our personality.

In the martial arts we give children the tools to be assertive and value themselves and their opinions so they will have high self esteem. It will show in the friends they choose and the activities they participate in and set them up for success in life.

Left-handers in Martial Arts | Advantage or Disadvantage?

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Manny Pacquiao

Manny Pacquiao

Mothers and fathers often complain to me about their son’s/daughter’s lack of coordination and difficulty being a left-hander or “southpaw” in our classes. I always comfort them by explaining that it is not a disadvantage, and maybe even an advantage. I tell them I am a left-hander as well, which is true. For me, it has been an advantage for the whole of my martial arts career. Is it an
advantage or disadvantage? Let’s explore it from both sides.

Advantages

Right-handers will have a hard time fighting you. Plain and simple, most fighters lack experience against lefties, since they are such a small percentage of the population. You will be coming at them from unusual angles, which they are not used to seeing. You, on the other hand, will be used to fighting right-handers as you spar against them all the time.

You will become ambidextrous fast because you are usually doing the moves right-handed. Left handed people learn to do things with their right hand due to them being in a right handed world so they have almost equal strength in both hands. In most martial arts classes the whole group practices in the right-handed stance. There will be instances when they switch it over to the other side.

Disadvantages

It will take you longer to learn things since in many cases the movements are not as natural. You will develop power and speed in your weak hand though, with repetition.

People often don’t know how to hold pads during training for lefties, and in some gyms they will force you to be a right-hander. I would switch gyms if that is the case.

A suggestion

Train on both sides. This will develop speed, power and coordination in your weak side. But against other fighters favour your left-handed stance as it will give right-handers fits.

Keep in mind, if he is a left-hander fighting in an orthodox stance, his jab and his front leg kicks will usually be better than the right-handers in the class. In fact, Bruce Lee, a natural right-hander, fought in a southpaw stance so he could have his power hand and foot closer to his opponent. This is especially true in point sparring, as your front hand and foot will score the vast majority of your points.

Some great left-handed martial artists

Lastly, the following great boxers/martial artists were left-handed, so that should tell you something:

Marvin Hagler (boxing)
Oscar de la Hoya (boxing)
Manny Pacquiao (boxing)
Chael Sonnen (MMA)
Rich Franklin (MMA)
Nick Diaz (MMA)
Lyoto Machida (MMA)
Vitor Belfort (MMA)
Anderson Silva (MMA)
Yushin Okami (MMA)
Takanori Gomi (MMA)
Mirko Cro Cop (MMA and K1 Kickboxing)

Note, some of these guys were born lefties and some are “deliberate southpaws.” They taught themselves to fight as southpaws because they found it to be an advantage to their fighting careers. Others may fight in a southpaw stance to have better jabs and hooks, which are thrown off the front hand.

Any other lefties out there in the martial arts? What is your experience?

Safety Awareness and Self Defence for Moms

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A dark and secluded stairwell

A dark and secluded stairwell can be a very dangerous place

You lead a busy life. Your children are enrolled in self defence classes or martial arts training. They have learned about safety awareness. Please see this post, entitled Top Twenty Kids Stranger Danger Tips for Child Safety. But who is looking out for you when out on your own? Preparation and prevention are your best tools. Here are some simple tips to keep you safe.

Car Safety

When parking in the carpark, especially at night, park as close as possible to the overhead lights. A car that is parked in a well-lit area is less attractive to criminals. Also, it will be easier to see into the back-seat and floor, which is ALWAYS where you should look before you open your car door. Have the emergency number on your speed dial if you need it. Ask a store manager or security guard to accompany you to your car if you feel anxious.

When approaching the vehicle, in fact, when you leave the store, or other place, have the keys in your hand with the car key between your thumb and index finger. This serves two purposes. You will be able to get into your car faster if you feel threatened, and second, you can use it as a weapon if attacked. Immediately lock all doors when you get in the car and leave.

Never pull your car over, especially at night or at a secluded location. Attackers sometimes try to get their victims to the side of the road by motioning that they have a flat tire or other problem. Also, don’t stop to help anyone who is off on the side of the road with car trouble, even if it is a woman or they have a child. It may be a trap.

Never, ever get into a vehicle with an attacker, even if they have a weapon. Cause a loud commotion instead, and run away. Punch and kick if necessary. Your chances of survival greatly decrease if you go with them, and most likely, attackers will move on to an easier victim.

If you are ever thrown into the trunk or boot of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you, but others will.

Public Transportation Safety

Wait in well-lit, highly populated areas for transportation to arrive. Find a seat near the driver, and preferably, many other passengers. Avoid window seats, as this could allow an attacker to trap you. Stick with aisle seats near doors, so you can exit in a hurry.

Be aware of your surroundings. Stay off the mobile phone and iPod as you need all your senses, especially at night. You must focus on your surroundings, as a distracted person is always a target.

Safety When Out and About

If you are being followed by a car, run back in the direction from which you came. The car will have to turn around to continue following you, which will be make it more difficult for them, and will buy you time to get to a safe place, where there are lots of LIGHTS AND PEOPLE.

Always take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are dangerous places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at night.

Keep yourself fit. A stronger, fitter person is always a harder target for the bad guys (sorry to be sexist but they are almost always going to be male). Be able to run if you have to.

Trust your instincts. If someone makes you feel uneasy, there is a good reason for it. Avoid them.

Home Safety

If you are entering your house, and sense something is amiss, make plenty of noise, and if alone, pretend you are with someone. Say something like “Honey, bring in the dog from the car please”. Never mind what the neighbours will think. Surprised robbers are often violent; this gives them a chance to escape. If a door or window is ajar, or broken, do not enter. Call the police and wait with a neighbour for them to arrive.

Self Defence or Martial Arts Training

It is advisable to learn at least the basics of self defence. Many attacks are thwarted with a simple punch or kick to an unsuspecting attacker. You read about stories like this often in the newspapers. We offer martial arts classes for adults at selected locations around Sydney. Another benefit; you can train and practice at home with your children, helping them.

Any other safety and self defence tips for moms are welcome.

How to Help Children Overcome the Fear of Their First Martial Arts Class

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A kind martial arts instructor

Pick a school where the instructors are kind and truly enjoy teaching children martial arts.

Every martial arts term starts with a ritual. Some kids are chomping at the bit to get into the class and learn the reverse somersaulting flying ninja kick that they saw on TV. Others, you cannot bribe them with enough sweets to join the class. Why? Kids are as varied as colours of the rainbow. Some are outgoing, others are shy or are petrified of getting hurt. There is no “normal or abnormal” with respect to this.

How do you get your child to overcome their fears and engage in their first martial arts class? Here are some of the things that have been successful in our martial arts classes for children.

Let the child express what is causing the fear.

Sometimes just talking about it eases the child’s fear. Words often take some of the power out of negative thoughts.

Do not ridicule the fear as a way of forcing your child to overcome it.

Saying “Don’t be silly! Karate is super easy!” may get your child into the class, but it won’t make the fear go away.

Start with little steps.

Don’t push them into the class. Let them work their way into it slowly. While I am going around the class letting the kids use their blocks against the padded blockers (a very fun activity that gets the kids laughing), I stop in front of the shy child, smile, and lower the blocker slowly toward them so they can get it easily. I make it a point to praise them if they have a go at it, whether or not they do it correctly. This often works.

Make it an adventure you and your child can share.

Stand out there with them and do the warm-ups or other activities with them. They will feed off your enthusiasm and will feel less alone.

Allow yourself to be the “home base”.

Using you as “home base,” the child can venture out toward the martial arts class, and then return to you for safety before venturing out again. This allows the child a sense of control, but also reassures them that you are there for them.

Let the younger black belts talk them into it.

Often kids are intimidated by “the Sensei”, but if you send a younger assistant over to talk them into it, they can relate to someone closer to their age.

Be patient.

Some children take as long as four classes to engage. Once they get involved, they tend to be outstanding students, as they are usually very coachable.

Pick a school where the instructors are kind towards children.

The instructor must be interested in teaching children and sensitive to their needs. It is amazing how many schools out there are really not that interested in teaching children martial arts, they just do it as a “money spinner”. You can tell by observing a few classes how passionate the instructors are about teaching children.

What strategies have worked for you to help your child face the fear of joining in their first martial arts class?