Karate classes can help children become more independent in many ways.
If I hear one more person on Facebook say “I’m bored”, I am going to go off the rails! We think that the phone always has to ring, that people always have to be texting us, or that we must have someone to hang out with. What is wrong with hanging out with yourself? You must learn to like yourself and your own company. One of the things the martial arts have taught me is to be strong on my own.
Standing strong…alone. How can we encourage our children to stand on their own two feet? Karate classes can help in many ways. Let’s look at them.
Step Aside and Let Another Adult Take Over
As much as it is a temptation to always be with your young child, they need to learn to trust other adults in a supervised setting. Try leaving your child for small periods of time during karate class. By doing so, they will learn that they are still safe without your presence. Before long, they will be confident enough to do an entire class without you being present if need be.
Smaller Goals Over Time Build Their Confidence
The “little goals” or gradings at the end of each term add up to big ones over a period of years. As kids set the goal to get to that next rank they will learn how their attitude, attendance, and self discipline will achieve it. Each achievement enhances the child’s self-confidence and they start learning that “they did this on their own”. The martial arts are individual, not team sports. The kids learn to count on themselves, and they never, ever ride the bench or sit out just because they “aren’t as good as the rest of the team”.
Children Need to Fail Every So Often
Rising from disappointment is one of life’s most important lessons to learn. By experiencing failure and overcoming it, the child will grow into a strong, independent adult. I have seen it time after time over the last twenty years of teaching. Some of the strongest efforts on our advanced gradings were from students who failed to achieve their goals in prior tests. They decided for themselves that they really wanted to pass and gave it their all.
Instructor for a Day
We sometimes let the kids take each other through warm-up activities or even come up to the front of the class to demonstrate a technique. We also consistently ask them questions. Encouraging them to talk or demonstrate builds up their confidence and is important for their feeling of independence. It also keeps the karate class engaged.
We Praise Our Karate Kids
Children are highly motivated by recognition and approval. Praising them for a job well done will increase their self-esteem and self-reliance. We are careful, however, to not over do it, as excessive praise teaches children to seek outside approval, thus making them more vulnerable to peer pressure. We look to find something each child does well, and praise them publicly for it.
Their Friends Dropped Out
Many kids joined karate classes with their friends. The friends dropped out for one reason or another, but they are still there, training every week. They have learned one of life’s most important lessons. You are not dependent on others for fun, or success in life. You can do it on your own.
Being Able To Stand Up for Themselves
As our students become more confident in themselves they are less likely to be targeted by bullies. Many parents have commented that since their child has been in martial arts, the bullying has stopped, even though not one fight had taken place. This ability to stand up for themselves makes children less susceptible to peer pressure and builds their independence.
Let Your Children Make Financial Transactions and Interact With Adults
The parents of my students taught me this one. They send their child up to the front desk with their money, the child says his or her name to check in, and hands me the money. They even thank me. I should be thanking them! This is a very smart thing to encourage a child to do, as it builds their confidence and ability to function in the world independently. Brilliant!
Independence is the greatest gift you can pass on to your child; it will greatly contribute to their success later in life. Karate classes can greatly assist in this effort. Have karate classes helped you to become more independent?
Seeing the above picture has really made me realise how much more confident my students have become. I’m sure it has a lot to do with them growing up but I think my school has played its part as well. I mean some of my students, particularly the four year olds, are really beginning to shine and come out of their shells; it’s always amazing seeing the super introverted children participate and make friends!
Hi Nathan! Yes, I really noticed that last week when I was out there. The kids are really coming into their own, it is great to see their confidence grow! Thanks for commenting.
I see it all the time epecially in my young black belts. They have developed great leadership skills
Good point Sinem! Leadership skills go hand in hand with independence. Being a great leader means thinking for yourself. Thanks for your insights.
Hi, Tyvian has recently asked me how to do what Sinem does, and did she have to goto Uni for it and I can see him ticking over in his mind what teaching means. Also he has started practicing on his own quite a bit, those things both point to his confidence and independent drive. So I think karate has been great.
Hey Matt,
I agree with everything in this post, especially getting the kids to pay for themselves – something I am pushing at Mosman in the second class and above.
Great post Matt!
Thanks Grant, one of the benefits of this that I neglected to point out in the post–it helps us remember their names! Glad you enjoyed the post.
Hi Robert, thanks for your comment. Yes, Sinem went to university, so she is also qualified to teach at schools. In order to be an instructor in our organisation, however, you must be an assistant instructor for a long time and have at least a 2nd Dan. No joke, it is probably the “longest interview process in the world”. We are dealing with children, so only hire the best. If Tyvian wants to be an instructor some day, the first step is to be a helper. Sinem can always use the help, it is a big school!
G’day Matt,
Definitely agree with this post, really like it a lot. I’ll add one thing that was involving friends, I had no friends start karate with me I had to make all my friends at karate and step out of my comfort zone. I see a lot of the kids do this as well making more friends everyday and even helping each other out with moves before class which is awesome!
Karate also has helped me so much with being able to stand up in front of people and talk or present anything.
The Kids coming up to pay for the class is such a great idea. As Grant was saying in his post he is pushing his 2nd class to sign themselves in, and it is working really well. I had a few children too shy to come up at first, so I would say their name with a funny voice to make a smile come out and put their nervousness at ease. Eventually they come to the desk, sometimes even the week after with no problem signing in! That’s thing you might like to try as well.
Hi Stephen, we had the same experience. I started on my own too, and was a better, stronger person from the experience. Even though the martial arts help us become independent, the sharing of experiences with like-minded people make for good friends, sometimes friends for life. Great point Stephen. Not sure if I could carry off your “funny voice” trick Stephen, but might give it a try LOL. Thanks for your insights.
yes i think karate has definitely helped with my independence and confidence ,I use to be pretty shy when i was younger but now i can even perform at the capital theatre let alone be independent and stand up to bullies .
Hi Archie, glad to hear from you! Am so glad it has made such a positive impact on your life. Wow, the Capital Theatre. Big time!
It’s one thing that I can’t understand either, how people manage to get bored. I’m always too busy to be bored. I always have something to do. There are some things I would rather not do, but that is where self-discipline comes in.
While parents leaving their children at karate may help build their confidence I don’t think that parents should treat karate like a child minding service. Parents need to actively encourage their children and take an interest in what they are learning.
Being at karate may also mean losing friends as some people drop out, but it also means making new friends. This can be an important lesson for children, it builds confidence in that they will realise that they can find and make friendships where ever they are.
I really need to drill some of this into my little brother
He will discover it for himself Harry, give him time. Most of the time a close relative is the last person from whom we will take advice as you are probably discovering.
Great points made here Ivor! I am too busy to get bored as well so can definitely relate. Regarding the self-discipline, I look at the more distasteful things as necessary and actually like doing them, because I know most of my competition will not go that far.
Yes, it is obvious which parents use us as a child minding service, they seem to have no interest in it. I feel sorry for the kids sometimes. However, in some cases parents leave because they know their presence distracts their child. That happens too.
The social aspects are something I have not discussed much, but so many friends are made within the dojo, many lifelong. Thanks for your thoughtful comments Ivor!